It's Okay

So you're losing weight, feeling great, exercising everyday and then you get sick.  Nothing serious, just a little upper respiratory bug, but it's enough to make you feel like crap.  When you feel like crap, you start eating crap, you don't have the energy to cut up veggies and stand in the kitchen making the healthy foods you know you should be eating.  Instead you shuffle through the kids snack drawer and eat some cookies, or fruit snacks because you just don't have the gumption to eat but you know you need something, so you make due.

You aren't doing your daily exercise routine because you can barely breath sitting still.  You hope you feel better tomorrow.  You tell yourself you'll do it tomorrow.  Today you just don't feel good.

Well, this is me.  I've been puney for the last 8 days.  I've been eating junk all week.  I'm not getting enough calories and the calories I am getting are not good calories.  I finally got out this morning and walked, but I didn't even make it 1/2 mile before I was turning around and coming home because I just can't catch my breath.

What does this sound like?  To me, it sounds like excuses.  I have fought that voice in my head for a long time, that voice that tells me I can't do it or I don't need to do it because....

I've been the person who has been the inspiration and motivation for so many, but I can't seem to motivate myself right now and it scares me.

I keep telling myself as soon as this bug is gone, I'll get right back out there and work my way back up to jogging 2 miles a day.  I was in the process of working myself up to a 5k when my son drug this bug home and spread it all through the house.  What is so scary is that I'm afraid I'll have another excuse and then another.  That voice in my head is back and it's trying to take over again.

I've spent most of the day reading motivational quotes, posts from my team mates and other feel good stuff. I talked with a friend who actually in a round about way gave me permission to feel sick.  It was what I needed.  She assured me that I'm not a quitter.  So I've repeated that to myself all day long.

I will get my mojo back.  Sometimes you get thrown a curve ball.  My curve ball was this bug.  I might be down right now, but I'm not completely out of the game.  I know what I need to do, but I also know that if I'm going to be any good to myself, I have to give myself time to get well.  There's no sense in pushing myself into pneumonia.

It's going to be okay.  I don't have to be afraid or scared because I know it's going to be okay.  It just may take a few more days.  I'm not going to beat myself up.  It's okay to take a couple of sick days.